I never knew him

            “I never knew my father,” Nell told me.  My adopted gran took me under her wing when I was in my first pastorate.  I was 23 years old, single, and living far away from my family.  Nell was born 11 June 1915 (the day I write this).  Her father had served in the Boer War and then in the trenches of Europe.  “My father is buried next to a Canadian soldier,” she repeatedly told me.  Maybe that was our special bond, the thin thread of nationality that knotted her to the dad she never knew.  She told me Father’s Day was hard for her...that she had missed out somehow. 

            Father’s Day is a day of celebration for those who have experienced the love and nurture of a dad.  It is a painful day for those whose dads died in the vagaries of war.  Think of the children who lose a young dad to disease.  Think of the children who watched dad walk away from them.  Then there are those who had a dad who was ‘there’ but distant or abusive.

There are those who find the idea of God the Father a comfort.  But for those who had/have painful relationships with their dad, the idea of God as Father is a barrier.  It is important to realise that God as Father is not a description of God’s gender.  It is not a reference to procreation either.  God is our Father in that he has given life to all that exists.  He is the one who nurtures us in love.  When the image of ‘father’ is a hindrance, it may be helpful to think of God’s feminine, mothering character. 

In “The Shack” Willie Young writes a story about Mack.  Mack had an alcoholic dad who beat his mother.  He confided in someone who then told his dad.  Mack was tied to a tree and beaten with belt and Bible.  When Mack’s daughter is abducted and murdered, he encounters ‘Papa’ who is a woman.  Young skilfully tells of how Papa meets Mack and nurtures him to be able to forgive his dad and the murderer of his daughter Missy.

Prayer:  Father, come to us as we give thanks for fathers who love and care for us.  Heal the grief and pain of those who’ve never had a positive experience of a father.  Embrace your children who squander all or refuse to join in the music and dance of your joy. Hold us in your arms.  Amen.