Gods Word

Do you have great difficulty in cultivating or maintaining genuine and lasting friendships? Have you ever felt rejected by someone you really care about? Are you reluctant to take the risk of being hurt in the process of forming new relationships? Have you ever asked yourself the question, “What’s the point of loving others?”

 

Did you respond by saying “Yes” to any of these questions? If you did, then welcome to the real world of human relationships – one of the most important areas of our life! Relationships are important as they define what it means to be human. Because those in close relationships live longer and are happier than those without, when these relationships aren’t working very well, they can become a major cause of anxiety! Thus, potentially, our relationships can bring us the greatest happiness and ironically, the greatest misery! Because of these facts, it is precisely in the area of our relationships that we face some of life’s biggest challenges!

 

In a quiet moment of contemplation or perhaps even out of desperation, just maybe, you’ve found yourself asking the question: “Does the Bible have any answers to offer to me in the area of my relationships?” Of course the resounding response is “Yes, as a matter of fact, it does!” So, as we explore the question of the Bible’s continued relevance for the 21^st Century, let’s consider what it has to say to us in the area of our relationships, for as we have seen, this is one of the most important aspects of our everyday life.

 

As we turn through the pages of the Bible we find stories of people in adversarial relationships, such as that between Abel his brother and Cain, who in a fit of jealousy murdered Abel. We find stories of disaffirming relationships, such as that between Job and his friends who were willing to believe the worst about Job. We find stories of relationships governed by deceit, such as that between Esau and his twin brother Jacob who cheated Esau out of his inheritance. But we also find stories of relationships in which the lives of the people involved are so closely interwoven that they are almost inseparable. In fact, we sometimes know more about the relationship between such persons than we know about them as individuals.

 

One such relationship is that between Ruth and her mother-in-law Naomi, who both give us a beautiful example of the blending together of two very different lives. And in an age that worships individualism, the story of Ruth and Naomi becomes a helpful model of good relationships. The cultures, family backgrounds, and ages of these two women were very different. As mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, they probably had as many opportunities for tension as for tenderness. And yet they remained committed to each other.

 

You will recall from our text that Naomi, her husband and two sons moved from Bethlehem, where there was a famine, to live in the foreign land of Moab, in search of a better life. But within ten years of their relocation, Naomi looses, first her husband, and then her two sons. After the death of her husband and sons she blames God for the emptiness she feels. She feels the loss of her family is the result of divine judgment. She believes that God is responsible for her bereavement. Naomi feels that she left Judah with a husband, two sons, and a promising future, and because of the Lord's doing she is now returning empty-handed.[1]

 

But she has every right to be bitter and angry – after all she has lost her husband and two sons. Who wouldn't feel bitter? Anger would be the most logical initial response to such a catastrophe. Anyone who has experienced what Naomi experienced will confess that their first response was one of bitterness and anger. Not only is it logical and understandable to feel this way in the face of tragedy, but such feelings are also part of the healing process[2]…but only if they are openly an honestly expressed! God does not condemn anyone for expressing anger and bitterness in the face of tragedy – consider Job; read the Psalms; look at the prophet Habakkuk; and you will find ordinary humans openly expressing their feelings of outrage, shock and bewilderment,using language that the modern reader may find quite startling! …but only if they are openly an honestly expressed! God does not condemn anyone for expressing anger and bitterness in the face of tragedy – consider Job; read the Psalms; look at the prophet Habakkuk; and you will find ordinary humans openly expressing their feelings of outrage, shock and bewilderment,using language that the modern reader may find quite startling!

 

Naomi’s openness accomplished something that all of us would hope to accomplish in our own lives – she influenced someone to come to know God. This did not come about by Naomi simply putting on a "happy face," and pretending that everything is honkey dory, but by her being down-to-earth, open and honest about her feelings. The older woman allowed Ruth to see, hear, and feel all the anguish of her relationship to God. How often do you feel that your thoughts and questions about God should be left out of a close relationship? How often do you share your unedited thoughts about God with your spouse or friends? Sharing openly about our relationship with God and about our feelings can bring depth and intimacy to our relationships with others.           

 

In reality, conversation, for many of us, is nothing more that an exchange of pleasantries; a polite chat that does not get to the heart of the way we truly feel sometimes. “Hi, how are you?” “I’m fine.” Not exactly an “in-depth” discussion; is it? But isn’t this normally how we communicate as friends and acquaintances, briefly touching each other with a cliché or two? But if this is the essence of our communication, our relationships will stall at a superficial level. Here we learn that it is only through openness in a relationship; when honest feelings and emotions are shared real people can be known, loved, and helped.

 

 

 

But both daughters-in-law protest: "No, we want to go with you." But Naomi persisted: "Listen, you two. You know I love you and you know I would be pleased to have any sons of mine take you for wives. But be practical. I have no more sons, and it is unlikely that I ever will. Why, if I got married tonight, and got pregnant tonight, it would be twenty years before that would do either of you any good. Are you going to tell me that you would be willing to wait around all that time for something that is nothing more than an impossible dream? Of course not! Go home. You will be better off there."

 

That was painful for Naomi to say. She had come to love Orpah and Ruth, and no one wants to be separated from those they love. But Naomi was practical. She was well aware that, in her culture, the life of a woman was totally dependent upon the man. A widow could not simply decide to pick up the pieces of a broken life, go out, get a job, and start all over again. The only way life could really begin again was in the home of a new husband. Naomi was concerned for her daughters-in-law, so she was willing to sacrifice her own happiness for theirs. [5]

 

Eventually Orpah is convinced by Naomi’s arguments. True to her name, which in Hebrew means "she who turns back," she tearfully kisses Naomi good-bye and disappears from the rest of the story and is never heard from again.[6] Here we see a picture of total selflessness on the part of both Naomi and her daughters-in-law. As much as they depended on one other, they also gave each other freedom in their commitment to one another. On the one hand, Naomi was willing to let Ruth and Orpah return to their homeland. But on the other hand, Ruth and Orpah were willing to leave their homeland to be with, and to care for Naomi. Later on in the story, Naomi even helped arrange Ruth’s marriage to Boaz – a wealthy man from Bethlehem – although that move would change the nature of the relationship between the two women.

 

 

Ruth, unlike Orpah, is not convinced by Naomi’s arguments to remain in her native land, as reasonable as they may sound, so she “clings” to her mother-in-law – even though, with her husband now dead, Ruth was under no legal or social obligation to do so. [7]  And so, in the words by which she is best known, Ruth (which means “companion” in Hebrew), in a forceful and impassioned response, dismisses Naomi’s argument as irrelevant: “Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you.” She says,“Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the LORD deal with me, be it ever so severely, if anything but death separates you and me” (1:16-18). What a pledge!

 

These words, which for more than 3,000 years have endured as an expression of what genuine relationship is all about, convey a hint of anger that is normally missing from our English Bibles. In effect Ruth is saying, “Your people are my people, and your God is my God; therefore, where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. And it makes me angry when you urge me to abandon these commitments!”[8] Ruth is angry because Naomi sees no way in which Ruth could benefit personally from continued association with her, and so urges her to forget about her present loyalties and to turn her back on her previous commitments. But Ruth’s response to her is governed by loyalty; not by opportunity for personal gain. [9]

 

 

This story seems strange to us. Why would someone want to limit his or her options by becoming unnecessarily tied down by the messy complications of other people? The story of Ruth and Naomi is one of two women who in a sense are strangers coming from two different parts of the world, yet they are bound together in the midst of a hostile world. This is a story about relationships. To be in any relationship is to venture forth like Ruth and Naomi, without any guarantees for the future, but, even in the worst of futures, it is more hopeful and bearable when we bear it together; with one another! Here we learn the secret, that through faithfulness in a relationship; by just sticking together and trusting God through the thick and thin, God will use such faithfulness to reveal his purpose and bless others.[11]Ruth eventually married Boaz, and unknown to them both, they would together become the ancestors of King David – one of Israel’s greatest kings and of Jesus Christ himself! Ruth eventually married Boaz, and unknown to them both, they would together become the ancestors of King David – one of Israel’s greatest kings and of Jesus Christ himself!

Recent research has been able to confirm a number of essential ingredients in every healthy relationship. For example, a friendship becomes important to the extent that the persons involved exhibit the qualities of selflessness, openness and faithfulness. Just a minute! Aren’t these the very qualities we see emerging in our story of Ruth and Naomi? The only difference is that, whereas the modern developments have only just now been able to explain the complex relations between these various factors, the Bible has identified them thousands of years ago. Does the Bible have any answers to offer to me in the area of my relationships? Yes, as a matter of fact, it does!

 

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